BUILDING STRENGTH OF CHARACTER IN THE YOUNG

JUNE 21, 2008

Character is based on the willingness to say yes to what is right, and no to what is wrong. If I can say yes to duty, and no to selfish inclinations, then I can be confident that I'm in control of myself. I can direct my life. I can resist temptation. I am master in my own mind and heart. Most of all, I am free.

What message are we sending ourselves as a society? By what we say and do, are we teaching them to say yes or no to duty? Yes or no to impulse and desire?

We tell our young to say no to drugs, but what about other attractions? "Just do it" is the message that advertisers have made to ring in our heads over and over. We have reason to be concerned about what our consumer-based culture has been doing to our moral values and to the minds of the young.

In a time of increased disrespect for authority, overindulgence, and emphasis on individual freedom, it is hard for parents to teach their children to say yes to duty and no to selfishness, but without parental strength, the children will never develop strength of character. In fact, more than strong character is at stake; safety is at stake.

We know of the dangers today's children face: muggings, street shootings, gang violence, drug peddling, rape, sexual abuse, unwanted pregnancy, and addiction.

How do we speak to our children about this world and the dangers in it? We can't provide 24-hour a day security for them, and when they're out of sight, we have to ask, "Who are they with? How are they being influenced or threatened or seduced?"

There is an even deeper question: what is the direction of our society and its morals? What will things be like in another 10 or 20 years, if we continue to drift in the same direction? When we look to the past, we can see a definite decline in spiritual values and moral standards. Do we have reason to suppose the decline will reverse itself without concrete action on our part?
 
The youth culture, which has evolved in America invites the young to embrace a lifestyle without limits or rules, where experimentation with drugs and sex is standard fare. Before they're old enough to shave or wear make-up, they learn all about these things. Even when teens are not sexually active, they may be swept up into the complex world of the intimate relationships of their friends. Teenage romance is fickle and frequent. Then there is the problem of widespread teenage depression, sometimes leading to suicide.

With the decline in religious practice and church attendance, many young people today have no sense of a purpose in life and no sense of personal meaning or value.

In spite of the great trials with which today's young people must cope, it seems that some things are never discussed at home. Many parents themselves apparently don't know what to say or how to provide guidance.

Communication is crucial, and it cannot happen all of a sudden. It must develop gradually over a lifetime. Communication will never be better or more open than the relationship between children and parents. Good communication is the result of trust.

Trust and communication, in turn, depend on mutual efforts at understanding. Parents need to try to understand the quickly changing pressure-cooker environment in which their children live. At the same time, they must not yield to the temptation to forget they're parents in an effort to be friends with their children.

Most important, the capacities of families to build trust and good communication within themselves heavily depends on the trust they learn to place in God, and the good communication they develop with him, individually and as a family. Toward these ends, active participation in the Church's life is indispensable.

None of us can guarantee perfect safety for ourselves or our children in this troubled world. Jesus told us that we would have troubles in this world, but that we should take courage, because he has overcome the world. Our consolation is in God. When problems seem great, we should remember Jesus' counsel: "sufficient for the day, is its own troubles." In other words, we should take his common sense approach to life: take one day at a time, confident that, with God's help, we can work things out.

+Bishop Raymundo J. Peña

last updated 11-Jan-2010 8:22 sitemap