HONOR YOUR FRIENDS

aUGUST 12, 2007

We have national days to honor presidents, mothers, fathers, workers, and those in the armed forces. We have whole weeks dedicated to honoring secretaries, bosses, and other persons who give so much of themselves to us. Why don't we have a national friends' day? They play such a vital role in our lives and are among God's best gifts to us.

Friendship is a recurrent theme of the Bible, and our appreciation of the grace of friendship can be deepened by opening its pages.

Jesus noted how his critics complained that he offered his friendship to everyone: "The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, `Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners'" (Mt 11:19). In this, Jesus showed himself to be the friend of everyone, at least everyone with a sincere heart. His example invites us also to treat all people as our friends.

When Jesus sent his Apostles out, he sent them two by two. He understood they would encounter many difficulties and would not have the strength to endure alone, but would do well with the support of a friend. Today, our culture prizes autonomy and individualism, but Jesus' example reminds us that in the journey of life, we all need a friend to help us on our way. Traveling alone is risky. Sooner or later we'll run into a problem that's bigger than we are, and then where will we be if we have no friend?

Jesus was also very reserved and cautious around people who were not his proven friends, and he counseled his followers to be on guard with respect to others as well (cf. Mt 10:17 18). He knew human nature, and realized how often trust is betrayed by false friends. He knew our qualities rub off on the persons we associate with, and their qualities rub off on us. We become very much like the friends we pick. They elevate our spirits or drag us down. Like Jesus, we, too, should choose our friends prudently.

Parents are keenly aware of this and always show concern over who their children's friends are. Teenagers, seeking acceptance and belonging in a group, experience a pressure to do whatever is necessary to be acceptable. Sometimes, we know, they do foolish or destructive things to be accepted.

Yet, when true friendship is found, it is wonderful. It is one of God's greatest gifts. Sometimes, a friend can take care of our needs in ways that neither parents nor spouse nor family members can.

The beauty of true friendship is witnessed again and again in sacred Scripture. In I Samuel 20:42, for example, we hear Jonathan say to David, "Go in peace, in keeping with what we two have sworn in the name of the Lord, saying, `The Lord shall be between you and me, and between your posterity and mine forever'". Theirs was a sworn friendship; they made a lifelong commitment of loyalty and trust to each other.

Friendship binds us in loyalty to another person, and betrayal of a friend is a serious offense. We intuitively know Judas' betrayal of Jesus by handing him over to the authorities was a far graver offense than if Jesus had been handed over by a stranger.

Friendship is perhaps taken much too casually today. People make friends easily, then lose them easily for lack of commitment. In contrast, Jesus instructed his disciples not to take friendship for granted, nor to abuse the privileges that come with it. In Luke 14:8, 10, for example, he said: "When you are invited by someone to a wedding party, do not sit in the place of honor... What you should do.. is go and sit in the lowest place, so that when your host approaches you he will say, `My friend, come up higher'".

The opposite error of taking friendship too lightly is to take it more seriously than we should. This happens when we allow friendship to cloud our judgment, corrupt our morals, or make us feel bound to show favoritism. We can too easily give away our freedom, allow friends to lead us in wrong directions, and do bad things for friendship we would never do by ourselves. We can be more concerned with our friends' approval and acceptance than with God's, and for the sake of loyalty to our friends we can be disloyal to God.

That happened to Pontius Pilate. He was forced to make an ultimate choice of friendships and loyalties. At Jesus' trial, the crowd shouted, "If you let this man go, you are no friend of Caesar" (Jn 19:12). To protect his friendship to Caesar, Pilate disobeyed his conscience and did what he knew was evil he condemned Jesus to death.

The true friend is the one who stands by us, no matter what happens. Among the cherished friendships we're blessed with in life, we should never neglect our truest friend, Jesus Christ. He stood by us, in all our sinfulness, even when the consequence was his death on the cross for the sake of our salvation.

+Bishop Raymundo J. Peña

last updated 05-Jun-2008 9:48 sitemap